Starting Over (pt.2)

  So my parents had returned to the states and I was okay, until October, when my best friend since the ripe ole age of 12 got married.  Not being there for Briana's wedding was hard to take, I cried, got a bit depressed.  Then came December it wasn't just my first Christmas without my family around, but my other best friend was giving birth to her first child.  Grey had been my room-mate and side kick.  She was with me through my entire pregnancy with my oldest - she even gained sympathy weight, and was with me in the delivery room when Kelly was born.  She was kind, patient, never complained about the crying, collicky baby screaming her little head off at 2 and 3 a.m.  But I was still okay.  I had my husband, and children, that was why I was here to keep MY family together.  So that my kids wouldn't go for years without seeing their father, and that is what would have happened, had we stayed behind in the U.S. and let Marius come over here alone.

  So everything is going okay, and then rolls in 2010, Marius had finally found work in March of 2010, only it was in Italy, which wasn't ideal, as he would be away from home for months at a time, but it was better than the alternatives of no work at all, or a little work here in Romania working for pretty much nothing.  Or me and the kids being back in the U.S., as I stated earlier.  There was a small glimmer of home that I would be able to fly home in April for my brother's wedding, only I had no one to keep the kids for me, and no funds.  My parents were helping pay for the wedding, and if they bought me a flight, then they wouldn't be able to afford to fly over and see ALL of us in the summer.  So I stayed put in Romania, dad brought his laptop to the wedding and we attempted to have me there via webcam.  Just as the wedding started, the computer overheated and shut down.  I got to see my baby brother in his tux and talk to him prior to the wedding, but I wasn't there, and then I couldn't even see it with the aid of technology. 

  I wasn't there to watch my brother take the steps from boy to man, his transition to being an adult.  At this I was angry, I didn't want to talk to anyone.  Marius called and he was like, it was just a wedding, I missed a lot too.  I yelled at him saying "You never missed anyone's wedding!  You have 2 brothers and a sister, none of whom have had a wedding!  I only have 1, O.N.E. brother, who I helped raise!!!"  He realized there was no way to console me, so he let me vent.  *Have I mentioned how extraordinarily awesome my husband is?!?*

  So I got over it, obviously.  I continued to try to adapt, and eventually found my rhythm.  I found myself learning the language more and more since Marius was no longer with me everyday.  I was beginning to be able to communicate with my mother in law.  MIL are generally not a great thing, at least not here, but even with a language barrier me and Ana get along, she loves me, I help where and when I can.  I try, and I thought she would be the last person I would be able to understand, or have understand me as I muddled my way through the language.  But to my surprise I learned more from her, and she has more patience with me, than most other people.  I went to visit Marius in Italy in June of 2010, and noticed that when I was with him and his room-mates, all the RO I had learned flew out of  my head, I wasn't even trying to understand what they were saying.  I subconsciously knew that he would translate for me.  I hated myself for that.  But I still do it, just a habit I guess. 

  So here I am now exactly 2 years later since first arriving in this country.  It is a beautiful country, and has so much possibility, if crooked politicians would stop lining their pockets with Romania's life blood of it's people.  My language skills are still pretty bad, but I'm getting it slowly, but surely.  My kids are thriving, and my husband is working. 

  It's not fun playing the single-mom to three kids for 48 weeks a year, but it's a choice I've made, and for me it is better to have my husband only a 2 hour flight away instead of a 20 hour plus butt-load of paperwork away.  My kids are getting a better education here, than they would in the U.S.  They are bi-lingual, and will soon be tri-lingual, as I want them to take another language besides English in school.  I want one to take French, another Spanish, and the other to take German.  German is supposedly easier for native English speakers to learn.  My kids are getting an advantage they wouldn't have in the U.S.  They are learning how hard life can be, because here life is extremely hard.  There are people who have to choose whether to buy food, or pay for electricity.

  Yeah, my life is hard, more emotionally, and psychologically hard here than it would be in the U.S.  But honestly I wouldn't change my mind about coming here.  Keeping my family together is more important than anything else.  While I would LOVE more than anything to be able to see my parents and brother and sister in law any time I want, my marriage, and my kids having their father close by is more important.

Marius if you are reading this, I LOVE you with all my heart and wouldn't change a thing about our life, well except for maybe us owning our own apartment instead of renting one!  ;) 

Starting Over (pt.1)

  January 19, 2009,4:00 p.m. Ryan Airport, Baton Rouge, Louisiana, U.S.A. 

LOADS of luggage, heavy winter coats, 2 adults, 3 small kids, 5 carry on bags.  My parents, and brother, his girlfriend, and her parents, and siblings standing near the security gate crying our good-bye's.  My kids were somewhat oblivious to what was really going on.  No matter how hard I explained that we were moving for good to Romania, that I wasn't sure if or when we would ever come back to the states, they were fine, which was good.  I was okay, holding it together, that is until my dad hugged me and wouldn't let go. 

  I could feel him holding it in, and I lost it at that point - the tears flowed, no matter how hard I tried to restrain them.  At that moment I had a fear of that being the last time I would ever see my dad's face, his kind eyes, hear is infectious laugh, and be held in strong, safe arms.  Even now thinking back on it, I get bleary eyed.

Fast forward 20 hours: January 20, 2009 4:45 p.m. Otopeni International Airport, Bucuresti, Romania
Feel like I'm in a dream.  Just watched a miracle take place with my husband's Embassy issued Travel Document, and admitting to having been in the U.S. without a visa.  Romanian Border agent fixed husband's problems in the system - so now there was no more problem.  We gather our gagillion pieces of luggage on two carts and head out into the lobby.  There we are greeted by his two brothers and one sister.  Tears of relief, and joy are flowing freely.  My husband hadn't seen his family in over 12 years.

We leave the airport at around 5:30 p.m., seven hours later, at 1 a.m. we arrive to his mother's apartment in the small city of Tulcea.  We begin to start again.  Marius takes me all over the city showing me where he went to school, where he hung out.  I met his childhood friends.  I sat in the back-seat of his brother's small Dacia bracing myself in a daze, from what I was sure was going to be a head on collision due to small streets, and people not knowing how to park properly.  I understood nothing of what was being said.

I call my dad's cell phone to let him know we made it safe and sound, and were home.  It was nearly 2 a.m. in Louisiana, I got his voice mail, and hearing the sound of his voice made me cry.  It was a big adjustment for me.  I was okay for the first 6 months or so, and all it once it all hit me.  I came home from one of the "supermarkets" and screamed at Marius because of people pushing me with their buggies, or standing right on top of me in the check-out line.  The couldn't stand back and let me pay for my items, no they had to peer around to the read out to see my total.

  I walked in, slammed the door, and dropped the bags on the floor, and started yelling "WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?!?"  Marius totally oblivious to what I was talking about, was just sitting there stunned - I never loose it like this.  I explain about the check-out line.  He explains it goes back to when it was communist, and people had to get up before the sun to get in line just to get milk and bread and the stood close to each other to keep people from cutting in line.  I said I understood that, but it wasn't communist anymore.  Then I just started yelling about how everyone was a communist - to which Marius jumps up and just holds me close. 

I wouldn't admit it to him, heck, I could barely admit it to myself, but I hated it here, I wanted to go home.  I hated everything, and everyone.  I would sit in the bathroom and cry, because I didn't know what else to do.  What it really boiled down to, was my fear of never seeing my parents again, especially my dad.  I didn't realize that was where my anger and frustration was coming from until they came to visit us in August. 

They arrived in Bucuresti, we met them at the airport, when my dad hugged me, it was similar to the hug he gave me when we left, but this time, it was "I'm holding my little girl again" hug, not a "I'm sending my little girl off into the unknown" hug.  We were all of us crying, and everyone at the airport was staring at us.  They just don't display affection like that here - I didn't care, I had my dad with me again, even if only for a week or so.

When they left, I was okay, I was at peace within.  My fear of never seeing my dad again disappeared in the airport.  I would love to see my dad's house, to sleep under his roof again, and that might still happen one day.

I had spent 8 months in a foreign place trying to understand the language the cultural difference.  Getting some of it, but missing most.  I watched as my kids quickly adapted and learned a new language.  I watched as my oldest daughter started school in a new country, while still learning new words in phrases in a language she had learned only 6 months earlier. He aptitude for language astonished me.  She was fluent within 2 months of our arrival!  My middle child learned the after resisting to learn for six months, but once she let go, and decided to learn it, she was just as quick.  My son, my baby was only 18 months old when we moved here, he was still learning English - he stopped speaking all together for a while.  Now he is speaking both - not great at his pronunciation, but he understands and speaks both!

Benefits of being motherless

  Well, first of all, Happy Thanksgiving to everyone.  Since my hubby is working in Italy, and it's just me and the kids, we aren't really doing T-day here - too much food, for just me and 3 small kids.  And people here don't really do cornbread dressing, so, oh well.


So the temperature is starting to drop, it's 8 Celsius today, and my friends over in Prauge got the first snow yesterday.  Not to mention that they were predicting this winter to be the coldest Europe has seen in about 100 years.  So I needed to put anti-freeze in our Volvo station wagon - yeah, I drive a station wagon!


Marius was like just go get some anti-freeze and put it in the car, you're supposed to flush the system, but just put some in the resevoir, but don't start the car, I'll deal with all that when I come home at Christmas.  And so I went this morning, after bringing the kids to school, and bought some anti-freeze and water.  I then walked back my bloc where my car was parked, and proceeded to flush the system myself.

I got strange looks from passer's by, I mean most men here don't know what they are doing when it comes to cars, much less, (God forbid) a Woman!!!!

  But there it is, my car is now safe for winter, with fresh anti-freeze & water sitting peacefully in the radiator and it's resevoir.

This is where I'm grateful to my mom for not being around while I was growing up.  I love my mom and all, but it actually worked out better for me that she wasn't there.  If she had been, then I don't think I'd have the awesome relationship with my dad, that I do have.....

....and he wouldn't have taught me to change tires, brake pads, oil, and flush a cooling system.  I wouldn't know where spark plugs where, what they do or hot to change those either.  I wouldn't know where to find the steering & brake fluid, or bleed the brake lines; making sure to pump all the air out of the lines to avoid catastrophe!

If mom had been there, I would have learned about make-up, hair, and how to dress myself.  But then I wouldn't be able to take of myself in regards to car mechanics (making sure I don't get ripped off by a mechanic), or stranded on the side of the road and at the mercy of whatever freak happens to stop to "help" me!

I guess the draw back to that I always related better to guys than to girls.  I could talk "shop" about cars, hunting, guns, politics, history, etc.  Where all the girls ever wanted to talk about was clothes, shopping, boys, make-up, clothes, shopping, boys.....

...you get my point.  The draw back to that was that guys always viewed me as one of them; "one of the guys".  Which was cool, because that usually meant I had a shield from the weirdos and creeps, on the other hand, it kinda cramped my style while on the 'dating scene'.  Even if my guys didn't scare a potential suitor off, then I did, because they realized they couldn't pull the proverbial wool over my eyes! 

But then, I met a few guys like my husband, who were awed that I could cook well, wash clothes, be girly, but wasn't completely reliant on them to do all the "guy" jobs.  That I could hold my own with them, even if that lug nut was screwed on just a bit too tight, and I needed their muscle to loosen it for me.  They were just genuinely impressed that I knew which tool to give them when they asked for a crescent wrench!

So thanks mom, for leaving me in dad's hands!  Without his teaching, I'd be up a smelly creek without a paddle!

HER voice said....Pass the Award!!

  So my cuz, LTM over at 'That's Write' passed on some sort of award, thingy, in which I have to HANDWRITE answers to some questions, and take a picture and post here, which I will do now.

..Without further ado, here are the questions:

Write down (by hand!) on a piece of paper the following:
1. Name, Blog Name
2. Right handed, left handed, or both?
3. Favorite letters to write
4. Least favorite letters to write
5. Write out "the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog"
6. Write in CAPS: BABOON, SPLENDOR, ONOMATOPOEIA, FLIP-FLOPS, HUZZAH!
7. Favorite song lyrics
8. Tag 7 people
9. Whatever else strikes your fancy

So here is a picture of my handwriting - atrocious as it is!!!  And below the picture, my typed out answers to these questions!:

Odessa's Handwriting

Okay, so my answer's were:

1. Name, Blog Name:  Odessa - Rants, Raves & Faves

2. Right handed, left handed, or both? - Right


3. Favorite letters to write - O, M, T, B

4. Least favorite letters to write - E (seriously, that letter is impossible in cursive)

5. Write out "the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" Okay, you can see where I wrote that

6. Write in CAPS: BABOON, SPLENDOR, ONOMATOPOEIA, FLIP-FLOPS, HUZZAH!  You can see where I wrote those too.

7. Favorite song lyrics :I'm so obsessed, my heart is about to beat right out my untrimmed chest.  I believe you, like a virgin, your Madonna, and I'm always gonna wanna blow your mind.... ("Hey Soul Sister" by Train)


8. Tag 7 people I could only think of 3, so Danielle, Melissa, & J-Lo
 
9. Whatever else strikes your fancy "C'est lés bonton lés roulez!!" (my cajun coming out)

She works hard for the money...

  Yeah, that's right, I'm a working girl now.....

....not in the "Pretty Woman" sense either...so don't go there (i'm talkin to you 'Lee-Roy')!!!


No, some friends of mine have hired me to help them with their marketing business, part of this new job entails me doing research on technical stuff, and [gasp] writing articles for their blog!!

The best part - I'm getting paid!!  Whoo-Hoo!!!  Now, I can use my pay check to cover monthly expenses, and we can leave Marius' check sitting in the bank where they will 'bloom and grow, bloom and grow forever....Eidelweiss..."

...sorry, had a Sound of Music moment there.  Yeah, we are just covering all kinds of music ain't we. I know you started singing "She works hard for the money, so hard for it honey.." as soon as you read the title.  Well here's some more for you....

..right now, I'm listening to Robert Palmer's "Addicted to Love" as I'm writing this.  Not sure how my mind can "sing" a song from a musical, while listening to savvy 80's music.

Okay, that song wasn't "savvy" per se, but his video sure as heck was!  I remember seeing those Alabaster white chicks with their slicked back hair, black skin tight mini dresses and bright, glossy red lips, and thinking - I hope I look like that when I grow up!

...Obviously God didn't hear that little prayer, or he did, and thought a practical joke was in order!!!

I'm the total opposite of those 80's babes - who by now are, I'm sure are fat, saggy and horrid looking from all the partying that took place in hell-ay back then! (yes, my attempt at making myself feel better)

Upside:  I'm still fairly skinny (after 3 kids) and non saggy thanks to the fact that "my girls" never graduated 8th grade!

Anyway, back to paying gig - yeah, I'm excited, but it's also leaving me little time for my own little rants & raves!! ;)

What's really annoying though, is that my kids NEVER need anything, or fight with each other, UNTIL I'm eyeball deep into writing an article.  You know, trying to focus my thoughts, and put a coherent sentence together?!?

Ahhhh....but then school starts in like oh, 2 weeks!  YES!  I will have all morning to work tirelessly!  "Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh, oh oh!"  -  Led Zeppelin "Black Dog" (guess what's playing now?)

Oh yeah, technology fix.  So my monster laptop, that had to have motherboard replaced....when I got it back - the blue-tooth adapter wasn't working - it is now!!!

Thanks to some guys over at the Windows 7 Forum!  They did their legwork and posted a couple of links to a patch and a drive file, that I for some reason could not for the life of me, find on the Dell website.

So now, the Blue-tooth is finally working - "Sooooo Happy." - Audrey Hepburn as 'Princess Ana' in Roman Holiday

Also, am getting better internet, a.k.a. DSL connection through cable company.  Will still have to pay for crack smoking connection currently provided by mobile phone company till April.

But it don't matter, cause my friends (new bosses) are going to pay for new connection, which will only cost like 10 Euro ($15) a month!!!

That's it for now, going to go jam out to "Stone Fox Chase" by House of Glass

Definitve Seasons

  Today has been a really beautiful day, not in the typical sense, as sun shining, birds singing, flowers blooming etc.  Today was overcast, and kinda gloomy looking, but the weather was perfect.  Not too hot, nor too chilly, there was a sweet fragrance blowing in the air today.  It was nearly magical.  And it got me thinking about the difference between here and South Louisiana.

  Yeah, if I hadn't mentioned it before I grew up in Baton Rouge.  There are no definitive seasons in Louisiana, there is warm (for winter), and standing at the gates of Hell (for summer).  But here, like today, you feel the change in the seasons.  It gradually cools down, you notice the birds starting to migrate further south towards Turkey and Greece as fall starts setting in.  The trees actually turn color and the leaves fall.  Winter here is totally depressing, everything is dead, the sun is never out, it's always gray and overcast.  But then in March, the sun peeps it's head out more and more, the green buds can be seen on the trees, the grass starts growing, the birds start flying back in to their homes in the Delta Danube.  The weather is nice and warm in the day, in the evening a light shawl does wonders.  Then summer hits, kids playing soccer, old men sitting in the park watching the young girls in short shorts and short skirts sashay by - which is really funny!

  Today felt nostalgic, you know one of those days that you know will always stick with you, like the day your children are born, the day you get married, graduate from college, get that first BIG, cool job.  It was like that, only without all the coolness, or excitement factor.  It was just something that I know will always stick with me, just for the sheer fact that it was a little thing that showed me the difference of where I come from, all the things I think I KNEW, and where I am now, and learning that I never really KNEW much at all!

If it ain't 1 thing, it's 20.....

  So my day started off rather uneventful, apart from sibling rivalry.  Fed kids breakfast and lunch, then at about 1:30 left to go get some things from the farmer's market, which is about a 10 min. drive.  Me and kids leave, go to the market, take another 10-15 min. to get what I need, hop back in the car, drive home.  Get home and walked across the street of apartment building to the little store, grabbed a 2.5L of Pepsi, some tomato sauce.  As I'm leaving the store, my freaky little neighbor (mighta mentioned him another post, if not I'll extrapolate in another post why he is weird), anyway, freaky neighbor dude says something about my apartment and water.  My five year old  translates as best she could, but she's not really paying attention.  I shuffle the kids across the  street, while toting a sack of groceries that weighs about 15 pounds, and up  2 flights of stairs.

  There's water on the stairs, and neighbors in front of my door.  I get that water is leaking from my apartment, but I was not expecting what I found when I opened my door.  There was 3 inches or so of water all in my apartment.  It didn't quite make it all the way into the one bedroom or the living room, but it started to.  It was all in the bathroom, kitchen and entrance & hall way.  They have shut off the water to the building.  They turn it back on, and we find that it is coming from under my kitchen sink.  I'm standing at my sink, wildly turning the knobs to the pipes to make sure my water in the kitchen is indeed off.  I didn't leave water running either, so please save those comments!

  So there I am standing at the kitchen sink, and I  just loose it.  I just broke down crying - not hysterically or even uncontrollably, but just crying.  You know, the tears you hold back and bottle up when things go south sometimes?!?  Well the flood gates opened.  My neighbors are standing in my doorway talking to each other, trying to talk to me.  I walk to the door, there's 2 men standing there talking to me, and I finally say, through the tears "Nu intelegti nimic!!!"  That translates, I don't understand anything!  Then in English I just simply say "I wanna go home, I just wanna go home!"  I felt like a 5 year old, who just got their butt whooped by the school bully!  I briefly pulled it together, and found my landlord's number in my cell phone, dialed it, handed the phone to one  of the men talking at me and said "Proprietor, explicat el" - landlord, explain it to him.

  They explain, I understand landlord is on his way.  They give me the phone back, I then call my husband, whose working in Italy - cause these neighbors are asking when my husband will be home, I try to explain he's working in Italy - they don't understand me.  Hubby answers the phone, I hear loud noises in the background, he's at work, in a shipyard.  I have to yell for him to hear and understand me.  At this point I'm not crying anymore, but the moment I have to start yelling, I break again.  He in turn gets worried, tells me to calm down, asks me why I'm crying, and I let loose on him:  "I'm crying because I'm in a place where I don't understand anyone, and they don't understand me, and everything is backwards.  Think back to when you first came to the U.S. and no one understood you, and you didn't understand them, and everything worked differently!"  But it was different for him, he was with a lot of other Romanians.  So he had people to talk to, I have no one, just my kids!

  Anyway, landlord arrives, they find the busted pipe/tube, whatever, we start scooping and dumping the water, take all the rugs outside.  The neighbors are helping.  My kids, especially 3 year old is trying to help, but getting in the way.  I've stopped crying, momentarily, and am helping rid the apartment of water.  By this time, the neighbors have figured out from my crying rant at my husband that this was the straw that broke the camel's back for me!  After several hours, the water is cleaned up, the pipes/tubes are repaired, landlord is not mad at me (thank goodness), and all is right, for now.  Called hubby, and had nice, calm conversation, apologized for the tear-fest, but he understood, and is thankful for such a wonderful wife, who left all behind to follow him to keep their family together!

  Okay, now I know you are thinking, okay, it was just a busted pipe, and yeah, you're in a different country, but there was no need to cry.  But lately, it's been one thing after another.  About 2 months ago, my laptop, a big monster of a thing broke, wouldn't turn on.  Turned out to be a bad motherboard, which fried one of my hard drives.  So I just spent about $4-500 fixing that.  Gas in the car, bills left and right.  A mother in law who likes to stay in everyone's business and create drama!  No friends to talk to, a husband working in another country because this one has no work for him!  Hot weather, no air conditioning, washing clothes by hand, and 3 kids who fight with each other, don't listen to me, and keep my house looking like the wreck of the Hesperus.  It could have been worse though, this could have happened over the weekend while I was at the beach in Constanta, 2 hours away!  So I guess in a way, I was lucky.

  Today was just the day that it became too much to deal with anymore!  Ever have one of those days, if you say no, then you are either lying to me, or to yourself; take your pick!  But what's really bad, is after I've cried at my hubby, gotten all the water scooped up, I'm mopping while the neighbor is fixing the pipes, the tears slowly start falling, not out of frustration, but this time out of anger - anger at my own country for putting me in this situation.  Yes, my hubby hand a hand in it too, but we didn't meet the burden of proof for Political Asylum.  Yes, I'm angry at the U.S. because it sent 4 of it's own to a foreign country just to make an example out of one person, a person, who if you needed it would give you everything he had, including a kidney or liver!  But the U.S. doesn't want people like him, they want gang-banging, drug running thugs from Mexico!

  Okay, I'm done, cause now I'm just getting myself really ticked off, and I don't want that, right now, I just want to eat my dinner that should be done in a little while, eat and read the rest of book three of a series of 7, then go to bed!

Diety vs. non-Diety

  So I was reading my friend J-Lo's blog, and no she's not the one from the block.  She has, like me seens so much false doctrines, and false  teachers, etc.  That has made us both question our beliefs, why do we believe that the bible says this?  So we started digging through the bible, Greek and Hebrew dictionaries.  We both started to discover that most evertyhing that was crammed down our "charismatic" throats as kids was not really what the Bible says.

  I have to wonder why  when we all, and yes, I believe that everyone in this world at some point or other questions the existence of God, or their beliefs in Him; why is it that some of us come to the unshakable belief that God is real, that He exists, that the Bible is His inerrant Word, and that Jesus Christ of the Word made flesh, and then some of us completely deny it.

  Is it maybe that we go into our research determined to prove what we want to believe?  I mean I read Lee Strobel's "A Case for Christ".  He was 100% athiest, his wife got 'saved', which drove him nuts, and  he basically set out researching to prove to his wife that whe believed a fairy tale, but in the process came to know God.  Why is it that two atheiests can read the same things, and come to two different conclusions?  I believe that in Mr. Strobel's case it was due to a praying wife, with many believing  friends  standing in agreement with her that he would come to the Lord.

  I have many issues with  the "church", but not an issue with God. I think sometimes when I say things about the "church", people take it as I'm bitter, and my love for God was waxed cold, but it's really the opposite.  I'm not gonna lie, I don't read my bible the way I should.  I don't do as Paul said and pray without ceasing.  And I am  guilty of REALLY praying when my back is up against the wall, so to speak.  Something that I need to rectify.  But....here would be the perfect time for my dad to pipe in with "Excuses are like rear-ends, everybody's got one!"

 

Italy, here I come!

  So I leave my hometown of Tulcea in the morning at 9 am to make a 2 hour drive to Mihail Kogalincheanu Airport, in Constanta.  My flight takes off at 1:10  p.m., and by 5:00 p.m. tomorrow evening, I'll be hugging my hubby for the fist time 3 months! 


  Marius and I have been together for a total of 7 years.  We "celebrated" our 6 year wedding anniversary May 7th.  Of course since he was there and I was here, it was a phone call that went something like this: "Happy Anniversary, I love &  miss you.  Okay outta credit,  talk later!"  In the 7 years we've been together we have NEVER had 1 whole week to ourselves.  My oldest child, is not his biologically, she was God's way of getting me back into the "fold".  You can say what you want about my past life, yeah I made mistakes, and she is a product of my sin and mistakes, but if you dare to call her an Abomination in the eyes of God (yes, someone once told me that to my face, happened to be a v. old, v. close friend of the family), I WILL come through the internet connection and beat you over the head with your own bible!  Yeah, I know, not Christ like behavior, but hey, what can I say, I get a bit hurt and offended when someone calls an innocent child "trash"!  Anyway, back to my point.  We have never had more than 1-2 days completely alone with each other.  So we are totally going to enjoy this week, belatedly celebrating 6 years together.

  In our 6 years of marriage we've dealt with more hard times that would normally destroy most marriages, than most couples experience in a lifetime!  But because we keep God in the center, and always talk to each other openly, and honestly, our trials have only made our love stronger!  We don't go to bed angry with each other.  We talk about everything before making any decisions, and he always makes the decision!

  Anyway, so when I get back, hoping my internet connection will have laid off the crack pipe so that I'll be able to post some wonderful pics from my short visit to the Tuscan area of Italy.  La Spezia, Genoa, and Pisa are where we will be visiting! 

  I can't wait to see a country I have ALWAYS wanted to visit with my wonderful husband!  Pray for me to have a safe flight there and back, and I'll see you on the flip side!

Communication Breakdown.

...No, this isn't the opening riff from classic Zeppelin song, although, those guys did Rock!  No, this is more along the lines of what happens when your computer falls spectacularly to pieces, and leaves you digitally stranded back in reality, with no outlet to vent!!!  Sorry I have no friends here to whom I can vent, I do, but they don't understand a word I'm saying, and I'd rather not let them see the  scary side of me, before they can completely comprehend what it is I'm ranting about!!!!

  Evidentally some chip on my laptops compressor (for the cooling system) is busted, along with a few other electrical items, but that chip is supposedly darn near impossible to locate!  Grrr......   Fortunately, we had my parents pick us up another laptop and bring to us when they came to visit last summer.  It's been in Bucuresti with  my brother in law since September or October I think, well, he was going to have to send it back to me anyway, so I could bring it to Marius in Italy, next week, did I mention I'M GOING TO ITALY IN 7 DAYS?!?!  N-E-Way, back to my story, so BIL sent me  2nd laptop by bus this  evening, and it's sad how much I've missed my digital friends!

  On the upside my New Canon Rebel XS with 2 lennses came in last week, and God answered my prayer, I didn't have to pay any VAT on it.  VAT=Value Added Tax, or Customs Fees.  I seriously got the coolest customs agent ever.  Makes me regret having called all the Postal Worker "Friggin' Communists" as I left the Post Office.... I blogged about that in a post entitled "God has taught me to hold  my tongue", labeled under 'romania'.

   Anyway, so I've been snapping photos like CRAZY I tell ya, learning all the bells and whistles, what an f/stop and apeture and metering  are.....I'm still a little fuzzy, but I can take some decent photos.  I'll upload some, when my internet connection decides to lay off the crack pipe!  Seriously, been out of the loop for two weeks, and my internet connection is obviously on vacation, IN AMSTERDAM!!!!  Sheesh!  Can't a girl catch a break?  Lately, I swear, everything that can go wrong, Has gone wrong, horribly wrong!

Not in Kansas anymore Toto…

  So last night I had this very strange dream, I kept buy tons of shoes, most of them red.  It was strange, because I was in my 20’s in my dream, working in some store, and my trailer park looking mom (not my real mom in the dream, not sure who she was) comes in with “my little brother” , who is some fat nerd boy who looks like he’s 10, but is going off to college, so trailer trash lady is buying him like a Touch Pad, etc.  I tell “mom” if you buy that Jason’s gonna die.  Jason was my boss –  dressed like Larry the Cable guy, but much cuter. She asked why he would die, and I said because if sells you that, I'll kill him, because my brother is a pushover, some jerk is going to either beat the crap out of him and take it, or trick him into giving it to him.

  Anyway in my dream my hair is long, and sorta blond, I’m pretty solid.  In reality I’m NOT a fat person, I’ve popped out 3 kids, and can still wear size 2 pants!  In the dream I’m wearing Daisy Dukes.  I DO NOT like showing my body, especially my pasty white legs.  So anyway, my friend (who is face & nameless; I have no friends here) comes in with all these bags of shoes that I had bought and left with her.  I become overjoyed suddenly, where I as before I was lethargic, and depressed.  The thing is though there were like 10 pair of shoes, mainly heels, and probably 7 pair of them were red!!!
  I like the color red, but I don’t normally wear it because I’m fair skinned with freckles, auburn hair (that is rapidly turning gray)  and blue eyes. 

When I woke up, and sat down to drink my coffee, I started thinking about the dream.  I was so depressed to the point of tears in the dream, till I had all these red shoes.  There was one pair that was my favorite, not to flashy, more like a ballet slipper in patent red leather.  No bling or anything, but I LOVED them.

So I thought about what it could mean and I immediately thought about “The Wizard of Oz”, and Dorothy’s red slippers that when she clicked the heels together she was instantly transported home.  So I’m wondering if subconsciously I’m wanting to go home.  I think so, I mean I’m in a foreign country where nothing makes sense to me.  My husband had to go work in Italy, cause there’s no work here in Romania, I have no friends, can’t talk to anyone, and my oldest had an appendicitis scare the other day, where “Dr. Armenia” threw me for a loop.  You can read about that episode by going to post entitles “Hospital Politics”, it’s much funnier than this one.

  So I guess that’s what the Red Shoes symbolized, my wanting to be Dorothy, and magically transport to back to my ‘Kansas’!  Of course the red shoes could symbolize how much I miss my husband!  ;p

To Write or not??

  So a lot of people have told me I should write a book based on mine and my husband’s life experiences.  Honestly, the thought has crossed my mind before, the only problem is I don’t exactly know where to start, how the story should flow, how much should be fact, and how much should be fiction.  Should I even attempt to write about my hubby’s immigration nightmare in the U.S.?  I mean in the wild, dream scenario that the book did get published and garnered international attention, there could be drastic repercussions that we really would not want to deal with. 

  I’ve thought about just focusing on living in another country, but then you kinda have to have a reason for WHY you are living abroad, and honestly, the facts are a lot more intriguing than anything I could make up.  I’ve thought about maybe asking my cousin who has written 2 novels, one being a complete series, and the other just one, back to back, and is now waiting to hear back from agents, so she can get herself published.  But she’s got her plate full already, what with editing a local parenting magazine in Mobile, plus her writing novels, wife of busy attorney, and mom of 2 elementary aged girls!  Jeez, like she really needs more, especially from the other side of the world!  Seriously, though, you should check out her blog, she’s very funny and witty. Here blog, “That’s Write” can be found Here.

  Maybe I should just blog the book???

Parents just don’t understand, errr…speak the same language…..

  So, the major disadvantage to living in a place where you don’t speak the language is my kids.  My kids, the oldest two at least are fluent in Romanian, and I’m not.  This has become a major obstacle for me, and an easy escape for my oldest, who quickly figured out that in this case mom really doesn’t understand.  In fact, I’m quite clueless.

  She can tell me that my mother in law said one thing, when she really didn’t say anything of the kind.  Her teacher said she needs money for this, when really she doesn’t need any.  I get it, kids are sneaky, but factor in a language barrier on my part, and it’s a whole new ballgame.  I don’t know anyone who can relate to me, as everyone I know is either back home in the U.S. or they are here and speak both English and Romanian, not to mention probably one to three more languages on top of these two!

  I’m slowly getting the hang of the language.  I mean I’m getting to where I can understand it more when I hear it spoken.  Speaking it back is  a horse of a different color.  The thing is though, I still am not good enough that my kids know that they can pull the wool over my eyes in a lot of cases.

  My oldest daughter is a sweet heart, but she’s 7, and since we’ve been here she’s been give a lot of independence, and maybe that is what missing link to her behavior lately.  I won’t go into details, but it isn't good!  Back home I would never have let her walk to the top of our neighborhood to go to the store there to buy some milk or loaf of bread.  Cause it just wasn’t safe, she could get kidnapped, hit by a car, attacked by a dog, etc. Here though, nobody messes with the kids, dogs are everywhere, and the only people they seem to attack are they gypsies, which although politically incorrect, is quite amusing!  Anyway, I can give her a few bucks and send her down the stairs, across a fairly busy street and into the store to buy me some bread or milk, or whatever I might need to finish what I’m cooking.  At her grandmother’s she can walk up the hill and across another street and go to the park.  She walks herself to and from school every day.  It takes about 5 minutes to walk there, if that gives you any ideas as to distance. 

  So is it the language barrier coupled with gotten too soon independence that is wrecking havoc in my domestic felicity, or just growing pains – part of growing up?  I think it’s the former.  In the States she was sheltered, didn’t go anywhere on her own, never out of my eye sight,  We didn’t live in a good school district, and the school she would have had to attend was a bad school, so we homeschooled.  Here she can come and go pretty much as she pleases [within reason], she goes to public school, seems to make friends easily, and makes good grades.    

  So why is this parent just not understanding???

Cracker

  I always loved the song “Euro-Trash Girl” by Cracker.  Not sure why, but I always wanted to be someone’s Euro-Trash girl, but new that would never happen, because, well, I’m American, not European.  So now, I guess I’m my husband’s something-trash girl!  LOL!!!

  Maybe it’s because I have always wanted to travel and see the world, especially Europe, and here I am in the far eastern corners of the continent!  Going to Italy at the end of June to see said spouse, as he is there working in La Spezia, which is about 30 minutes from Pisa, yes, as in the leaning tower of.  Here are a few snapshots of him at the tower, which I hope to get to go see while there.  He has a friend who lives in Venice, and if time and money permit, we may hop a train for a weekend visit to Venice, take a Gondola ride under the Bridge of Sighs at sunset – ever see the movie with teenage Diane Lane, and very old Lawrence Oliver called “A Little Romance”?  If so, you know what I am referring to!

So here are a few pics, and maybe by the time I die, I actually will be a Euro-Trash girl, ahem, lady, even though I have no idea what the term Euro-Trash actually means.  It doesn’t sound very nice, but for some reason or other, I wanna be one!  Silly Americans!

The Leaning tower of Pisa:

La Spezia:

Commercials, gotta love 'em...

So I gotta say, I'm a fan of commercials, not they way they come one right in the middle of a show, leaving you hanging on a cliff, but the actual commercials themselves. Like ones for laundry detergent.

Example, a woman is eating a cake with a friend at an outdoor cafe, her sleeve accidentally touches the cake, and now she has chocolate all over her sleeve. Her friend pulls out a 5 Kilo bag of detergent. Then they are suddenly in a house, the shirt is washed and dried with no trace of chocolate left on the shirt!!

Obviously it's showing how awesome the detergent works! But seriously, who carries around large bags or even bottles of detergent in their purses. And how come they can wash and dry a shirt in a nano second??? Isn't art supposed to imitate life, or is it the other way around???

Or the awesome cat woman like moves in a Matrix style commercial - I wanna be able to move like that - that slow time lapse photography trick, heck I would be find with looking like those women. I'm a seriously straight hetero woman, who loves her hubby, but those women are smoking hot!!! I want a body like that! Why can't we all have bodies like that???

I want my life to be like a 30 second commercial, funny, beautiful, and easy!

Head Colds and Butt Pains

Okay the title sounds a bit grotesque, I know, but seriously, once you read, I think you'll concur, that the title is tres appropriate!

So I have a raging head cold, so much so that it has clogged my one functioning ear to the point that my kids have to scream at me so I can hear them. Gee, I feel like my dad lately!!! (love you dad) I am completely deaf in my left ear due to high fever as a baby that completely damaged all the nerves in that ear. So the head cold cloggin up one good functioning right ear is not a good thing.

Now the Butt Pain part: 3 kids who run slap all over their mama! As I posted in earlier blog, hubby left for Italy almost one week ago for work. They haven't been as bad as I thought they were gonna be, but with pounding head, no hearing, and stuffy sinus cavities, it's made my backside start hurting too!

All Alone

So it's been awhile since I've written, there is a reason. I've been sitting under a TON of stress, literally. My hubby has had maybe 4 jobs in the 1 year and 2 months that we've been here, and the pay has been crappy!!! I mean he made just enough for us to pay bills and buy food, and not much else! Even though my MIL drives me nuts, she loves to cook, and feed people, so she has on occassion sent us food! On a side note, she looks in my fridge every time she comes over! She doesn't visit here often, only when she has to come to hospital, cause we live like 1/2 a block from it.

So my husband has been trying to go to work in Italy for a year now. For some reason or other they didn't send him, even though the guy that owns the company that sends the men to work owed Marius brother some HUGE favors. My brother in law was a pro. boxer, coulda made quite a name for himself, but due to some injuries to his kidneys or liver, he had to stop. So he did, and became a body-guard, and hired thug when needed. So my BIL has and still does on occasion, some "collector" work for the main guy sending people to Italy.

Sorry for the side track. So Marius and I go to the bank yesterday to put me on the bank account. After that we stop by the office to talk to the guy who is supposed to put the roster together to send people out. This man isn't the one whom owes my BIL a favor, he's the guy that runs things for that guy, we'll call him "Tricky Dick", cause he reminded me of R. Nixon! I'd never met him before yesterday. He told Marius they (shipyard in Italy) had just faxed the list of how many of each position they needed, and for Marius to come back at around 3:30 or 4:00. So we go home, Marius goes back. About 1-2 hours later, Marius comes home, he tells me he still hasn't talked to Italy. Marius has a job interview for a Stucco job in Belgium today in Bucharest. He wasn't sure if he was going to be able to go, because he might have to meet with "Tricky Dick" this morning! So needless to say, we are both feeling rather frustrated and scared. We have 3 little ones running all over the apartment, playing, laughing, etc., without a care in the world. I now understand why parents tell their kids to enjoy their youth!

So there we sat, both of us feeling like screaming, but knowing it wouldn't do any good, except make the neighbors call over the doctors from the mental hospital, which is literally next door to our building. Yes, I live near the crazy people!!! So we are sitting there talking, freaking out, wondering, is God hearing our prayers??? Marius' phone rings, as he goes to answer it, I say, that better be "Tricky Dick"! Sure enough it was him. He had just talked to the shipyard owner's in Italy. Marius is going out. He apologized for it taking so long! Only so many positions and 40 different men wanting him to send them to work! I'm ECSTATIC that he has a job! Sucks that it took this long, and makes me wonder why was only after I came in with him that they decided to send him too?!? The pay isn't WONDERFUL, but for the cost of living here, it's pretty dang good!

So the draw back, he will be gone for 1 year, yes, you read that right, ONE YEAR. One year of me being alone in a country, where I'm still trying to learn the language. One year with just me and the kids, no daddy to help me straighten them out! Oy-Vey!!! One year of going shopping and getting screwed because of said language barrier! So if you pray, pray for first of all my husband's health and safety, and in a close second, my mental sanity, otherwise the kids will visiting mommy in the crazy place next door!

Hello Again....

So I haven't blogged since last year...hehehe!  The holidays always have so much going on, even when the traditions are different and you don't have as much $$ to spend.  LOTS of baking and cooking went on, have I mentioned I love to bake, I do.  Made fresh french bread rolls, cinnamon rolls, sugar cookies with icing, Apple Crumb Pie x 5 - it was a HUGE hit!  Sarmale, which is a traditional Romanian dish, that is completely YUMMINESS wrapped up in Grape Leaves OR Cabbage Leaves.  I prefer the grape leaves.

Not a lot has been going on, other than decorating a poor Charlie Brown tree that we had to tie off to the "library" with fishing line so it would stop falling over!  It was pretty funny actually.  Oh also, try to keep the kids from pulling all the balls off the tree and using them as soccer balls - thank God they were all plastic!!!
Looking for work, cheaper apartment, more ways to save money, same ole, same ole!

Anyway just wanted to say hello to whoever is "listening"!  So HELLO YOU!!!  Nice to "see" you!  Hope everyone had a blessed Christmas and safe and happy New Year!

Awesome Blogger Award

  Okay, so my friend Melissa, whom I've known since middle school awarded me with the "Awesome Blogger" award.  Melissa has a very witty blog called Little Miss Married.  The stiputlations of being granted said title include me giving 7, count 'em 1.2.3.4.5.6.7 "intersting" facts about myself, and listing 5 new bloggers.  Well, I only know one new blogger, and I don't really consider myself as "intersting" in the conventional sense, but I'll give it a go!

7 Intesting Things about me:

1.  I scored a 143 on an IQ test.  That should be considered interesting since, if memory serves, that makes me a borderline genius. Genius at what I've yet to decipher, seeing as how most of what I touch seems to turn to crap! Not really, but it feels like that sometimes!

2.  I am a brutally honest person.  Maybe not brutal, but honest.  I detest lying in any shape, form, or fashion.  Honesty is the best policy in every facet of life.  I try to temper everything with love, however my wickedly bad Irish temper passion gets the better of me sometimes.

3.  I have 3 BEAUTIFUL children who look absolutely nothing alike! See photo below.  An absolutely beautiful, wonderful, adoring husband, who was everything I prayed for and dreamed of for a husband and father!

4.  I suffer from selective memory. Let me explain.  I can remember bible verses and their address.  I can remember law, and their legal numbers.  I can remember case law Snyder vs. USFDA, etc., etc.  But I can't remember what you asked me for 20 minutes ago, unless it's something that pique's my interest.

5.  I live in Romania, because of stupid antiquated out-dated Immigration laws.  Please do NOT try to argue with me about the current Immigration problems in the U.S.  You will be barking up the wrong tree, and will definitely be picking a fight you will lose. (there is an example of said "brutal honesty")

6.  I am an AWESOME cook!  I don't generally toot my own horn, but when it comes to cooking or baking, I can kick butt.  I'm no Julia Childs, I wouldn't cut the mustard on my presentation, but the taste, Oooooo Mama! Do quote Johnny Bravo!

7.  I am a Nerd!  Yes, I own it, I am a total and complete dork.  I make silly faces, talk in silly voices, sometimes with an accent!  I love silly movies like "So I  Married An Axe Murderer" (seriously, funniest movie evah)!  I love technology, I am a computer geek/buff, etc.  Learning what I can about photography for when I can finally afford a Digital SLR!   I can recite every line to just about every Star Wars flick, every movie adapted from a Jane Austen novel.  I am basically an American version of Bridget Jones, minus the drinking!

8.  I'm adding one extra, and it's not last because it's least important, but because we always save the best for last right?  I am a Christian.  This means I follow the Words of Jesus Christ, not Billy Graham, Joel Osteen, Larry Stockstill, T.D. Jakes, or any other "man of God".  Man if fallible, full of error.  I serve, believe in and LOVE God - whose word never returns void.  Who became flesh, and died a horrible death so that I, my husband, children, family, friends, EVERYONE could be redeemed unto Him.  It is not I who lives, But, Christ who lives in me.  He has changed and transformed me.  I die daily to the flesh so that I can become more like him!  I want to be "Mistaken"!  (Warren Barfield)

So there it is seven "interesting" (to whom I don't know) things about me.  Sorry if I bored you into a coma, but that is me!!  I won't apologize, because diversity is the spice of life.  If we were all teh same, what a truly ugly and boring world it would be.

Okay so  the only new blogger that I know is a young wife, mother of a new baby girl, and excellent, awesome, pure hearted woman of God, Danielle.  I've known her for years now.  She saw me when I was still rebellious, drinking and partying, and then she saw God transform me.  It was because of hers, her family, my family and our mutal friends prayers that I am still alive and here serving an awesome God!  Her blog is here.

So Danielle, I think maybe now you have to list 7 intersting things about yourself and list whatever new bloggers you know!

FOLLOWERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have followers! YEA!! I must be funny or smart, or something right, I mean there is one other person besides my friend Mel, who I've knows since H.S., and who got me started on this blogging thing. I think she feels obligated. But now I have a "follower" whom I don't know! The whole I have a "follower" kinda makes me sound like David Koresch or something...eww... Gag, hack, cough!!!

So to anyone who is following me, please, comment let me know what you would like to read about, what you would like me to STOP writing about!!! Okay 7 & 2 yr. old are putting the boys on the WWF to shame - gotta run.