Starting Over (pt.2)

  So my parents had returned to the states and I was okay, until October, when my best friend since the ripe ole age of 12 got married.  Not being there for Briana's wedding was hard to take, I cried, got a bit depressed.  Then came December it wasn't just my first Christmas without my family around, but my other best friend was giving birth to her first child.  Grey had been my room-mate and side kick.  She was with me through my entire pregnancy with my oldest - she even gained sympathy weight, and was with me in the delivery room when Kelly was born.  She was kind, patient, never complained about the crying, collicky baby screaming her little head off at 2 and 3 a.m.  But I was still okay.  I had my husband, and children, that was why I was here to keep MY family together.  So that my kids wouldn't go for years without seeing their father, and that is what would have happened, had we stayed behind in the U.S. and let Marius come over here alone.

  So everything is going okay, and then rolls in 2010, Marius had finally found work in March of 2010, only it was in Italy, which wasn't ideal, as he would be away from home for months at a time, but it was better than the alternatives of no work at all, or a little work here in Romania working for pretty much nothing.  Or me and the kids being back in the U.S., as I stated earlier.  There was a small glimmer of home that I would be able to fly home in April for my brother's wedding, only I had no one to keep the kids for me, and no funds.  My parents were helping pay for the wedding, and if they bought me a flight, then they wouldn't be able to afford to fly over and see ALL of us in the summer.  So I stayed put in Romania, dad brought his laptop to the wedding and we attempted to have me there via webcam.  Just as the wedding started, the computer overheated and shut down.  I got to see my baby brother in his tux and talk to him prior to the wedding, but I wasn't there, and then I couldn't even see it with the aid of technology. 

  I wasn't there to watch my brother take the steps from boy to man, his transition to being an adult.  At this I was angry, I didn't want to talk to anyone.  Marius called and he was like, it was just a wedding, I missed a lot too.  I yelled at him saying "You never missed anyone's wedding!  You have 2 brothers and a sister, none of whom have had a wedding!  I only have 1, O.N.E. brother, who I helped raise!!!"  He realized there was no way to console me, so he let me vent.  *Have I mentioned how extraordinarily awesome my husband is?!?*

  So I got over it, obviously.  I continued to try to adapt, and eventually found my rhythm.  I found myself learning the language more and more since Marius was no longer with me everyday.  I was beginning to be able to communicate with my mother in law.  MIL are generally not a great thing, at least not here, but even with a language barrier me and Ana get along, she loves me, I help where and when I can.  I try, and I thought she would be the last person I would be able to understand, or have understand me as I muddled my way through the language.  But to my surprise I learned more from her, and she has more patience with me, than most other people.  I went to visit Marius in Italy in June of 2010, and noticed that when I was with him and his room-mates, all the RO I had learned flew out of  my head, I wasn't even trying to understand what they were saying.  I subconsciously knew that he would translate for me.  I hated myself for that.  But I still do it, just a habit I guess. 

  So here I am now exactly 2 years later since first arriving in this country.  It is a beautiful country, and has so much possibility, if crooked politicians would stop lining their pockets with Romania's life blood of it's people.  My language skills are still pretty bad, but I'm getting it slowly, but surely.  My kids are thriving, and my husband is working. 

  It's not fun playing the single-mom to three kids for 48 weeks a year, but it's a choice I've made, and for me it is better to have my husband only a 2 hour flight away instead of a 20 hour plus butt-load of paperwork away.  My kids are getting a better education here, than they would in the U.S.  They are bi-lingual, and will soon be tri-lingual, as I want them to take another language besides English in school.  I want one to take French, another Spanish, and the other to take German.  German is supposedly easier for native English speakers to learn.  My kids are getting an advantage they wouldn't have in the U.S.  They are learning how hard life can be, because here life is extremely hard.  There are people who have to choose whether to buy food, or pay for electricity.

  Yeah, my life is hard, more emotionally, and psychologically hard here than it would be in the U.S.  But honestly I wouldn't change my mind about coming here.  Keeping my family together is more important than anything else.  While I would LOVE more than anything to be able to see my parents and brother and sister in law any time I want, my marriage, and my kids having their father close by is more important.

Marius if you are reading this, I LOVE you with all my heart and wouldn't change a thing about our life, well except for maybe us owning our own apartment instead of renting one!  ;) 

1 comment:

Melissa said...

This is so sweet. You are an awesome woman! I agree, it is MOST important to keep the family together and it is so good the things your children are learning. Looking forward to seeing what happens in 2011. ;)