Americans: What NOT to do abroad....

Okay, so this post is mainly for you younger people - you know who I mean....You college age kids whose parents are footing the bill for your adventure in Europe.

Rule 1:  It is NOT necessary for you to talk loudly everywhere you go.  This is NOT the U.S., people here in Europe don't want to hear your conversations.  While you may think that they don't understand English - they DO.  They just pretend to be stupid so they don't have to converse with YOU!

Rule 2:  If you absolutely insist on speaking loudly, at least speak with some appearance of intelligence.  The word 'like' is not a conjunctive word.  It does not need to be used, like, every other, like, 2 words, or like, whatever.....  The Valley Girl girl slang died a quick death back in the 80's, so please leave your 'Fast Times at Ridgemont High' mentality at home in the U.S.
*Note:  History is NOT stupid.  Those who don't study history are doomed to repeat it.  If that's the case then I feel sorry for myself when I get old as you idiots will be the ones in charge.  *sheesh*

Rule 3:  IT'S EUROPE, It's NOT the U.S., so NO, the rooms aren't going to be big like back home, and yes, the water heater has to be plugged in at least 2 hours prior to bathing.  AND DON"T USE YOUR FLAT IRON here - unless you want to knock out the power to at least 10 city blocks!

Rule 4:  Just because your daddy paid for your little adventure doesn't mean you are better than anyone else.  It doesn't mean YOU are wealthy, it just means your dad is an idiot for giving you everything you want instead of making you earn the money yourself.

Last Rule:  If you can't behave like a nice, quiet, intelligent, civilised human being, than for God's sake, and all us ex-pats actually living in abroad, JUST STAY in the U.S.


Melissa said...

LOL - this was hilarious. And...i can only imagine! I love #1. :)

Odessa said...

Oh, Mel, you have NO idea. I cringe whenever I see younger Americans - they're OBNOXIOUS!

One girl actually said "History is so stupid! LIke why do we even need to learn it?!?" I looked at Marius and was like OMG - I feel embarrassed for being from the same country as them! I refused to speak English while they were in ear shot of me! And tried to keep my passport out of their view.

Gorges Smythe said...

They're just as ignorant and obnoxious at home, it's just that we can't pretend not to understand English. (Or CAN we?)

Rowena... said...

I wish you'd write more. I came across your blog because a reader of mine left a comment that suggested perhaps the only reason to travel to Romania is for the papanasi, and that is the last thing you say to an expat who has embraced the european culture; all lock, stock and barrel of it. When I think of the many instances where I felt ashamed to hold an american passport...honestly, why do I always end up running into the "ugly" ones?

Odessa said...

Thanks Rowena, and you're right, I do need to write more, and actually have another interesting ex-pat store to tell, bit I'm waiting to see how it all pans out! ;)